The Ties That Bind, Then Choke Your Brain

It's been weeks and weeks.

I'm writing this with about five minutes to spare, no drafting and minimal thought.

It's been a fairly horrible couple of weeks, months, nearly a year. We are really short staffed at work, with people on holidays and people who have left and have not been replaced (in one case, we're getting to the six month anniversary and the fourth re-advertisement). On average, it's midnights, one off, one on, one off, several on. Throw in a midnight (leave work at eight in the morning) and an afternoon (come back at four or five of the same day), and no wonder I'm exhausted.

I had my third go at that one (two shifts on the one day) in a fortnight and feel like I've been abducted by aliens. I've lost a day. It's one day later than it should be. It has been for the last four days.

The creative writing workshop started two weeks ago, tomorrow is week three. Our teacher, Mark Tredinnick, is very good. I suspect though, that I'll be reading a lot of books in my future that I would not have considered (aside from, maybe I should read that) just from the short readings alone - and there's even more mentioned in the Little Red Writing Book (yeah, his).

I would like, very much, to quit my job and work on this. See if I can take it anywhere. See if it can take me anywhere.

See if I can have a normal life, where I'm not tired all of the time, disoriented and perfectly uncertain about the time of day.

But of course, we're already short, so...keep twirling until next time. Or be rebellious and inappropriate; that's my default when I'm this exhausted.

Nothing more. Too bored and furious (it's an interesting combination - I recommend it for enemies) to focus a lot of the time right now. I would like about four days of sleeping whenever I want to.

Since I have no end phrase (and I'm twenty minutes past my five minute deadline), bye.

Sucks Budgies and Personalised Everything

Can't wait for that T-shirt to appear in the mail.

I had a quick squiz over my counters yesterday and discovered that my readership is non-existent.

So it goes.

That means I can come out with even more insanity that usual, doesn't it?

I spent yesterday using my free stuff from vistaprint, since I got a pile of business cards, etc., they decided to offer me a lot for almost nothing. T-shirt, pens, small magnets, post-it notes. Hilarious.

I have a dare from my boss to wear a T-shirt with the Grim Reaper on it. Not much of a dare (or the best kind) since I was going to do it anyway.

Uh-oh, I'm boring myself again. Better go and do some housework.

The Things You Say Without Thinking

On the phone about paying insurance. Everything finished, it's all fixed up and I say "Well, we'd still better not burn the house down then".

It occurs to me as those words are leaving my mouth that if our house does burn down it could look like fraud.

Woops.

Luckily the Customer Service Representative had a sense of humour and told me it was far too cold at the moment for that kind of thing. Yes, I reply, our only option is my uncle's two bedroom, which would get a bit wearing after five minutes.

I like joshing with customer service. Mostly because they get an awful lot of crud thrown at them by very angry people. The number I rang was the internet support - so they probably get even worse (IT'S NOT WORKING!!!!!!). (Did you turn it on?)

The best customer service call I had was with my bank a few years ago (I know, that seems an oxymoron, doesn't it?). I gave the rep the wrong information, apologised. He replied that worse things happen at sea.

I replied that hopefully at sea you don't get an automated voice saying "If you have run aground, press 1."

I love that story. I'm only sorry I was laughing too hard to say "If the Lost City of Atlantis has risen in the night, press 2."

If you like this entry, press 6. Then press 9. Then mash the keyboard with your palm and see if the resulting mess is a lost play of Shakespeare.

Interpret Your Dreams - Because the Shadow Doesn't Know

Or at least there is a lot of contradiction on the internet.

I've been away for a few days since I was so tired and flattened I was boring myself. Only working a lot of shifts, nothing dramatic, although I seem to have rediscovered my inner lunatic and am laughing and generally behaving idiotically. Tonight I think I freaked out a colleague by declaring "TASTES LIKE CHICKEN" apropos of nothing. Oops, sorry.

Today I had a Nanna nap during the day. Unfortunately I wound up having a fairly unpleasant dream, to be woken by (I thought) knocking at the door. I check the door and no-one is there. Then the dream I was having was running through my head and I realised I'd actually dreamed it.

That's interesting, methinks, and I boot up google to find me a dream interpreter. Apparently I am either about to come into money, I need to pay attention to something or, last but not least, something bad is going to happen and it will affect me deeply. (Personally I would have assumed that the part of the package of "something bad" would include "affect me deeply", but let me not be picky in the face of the wisdom of the intey-net). I would like to go with the first one, since when I woke up I thought it was Australia Post delivering some goodies.

Rather than being put off or put out by this, I think this is very funny. Either something good (ish), something in the middle or something bad.

Well let me face that off with:

1. A shrug, and
2. GGGGAAAAAAHHHHHH, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!, and
3. Giggling. Lots and lots of giggling.

That should cover all eventualities.

Is there a doctor in the house?

One would hope given that I've just been to the doctor.

Now I'm dosed up with antibiotics and an anti-heartburn medication, it's all going to be good.

I've been sitting on a chest pain for quite a while, which is utterly stupid. When he asked the heartburn question, my first response was "Terrific! Much better than anything my imagination was coming up with!" Which made him laugh. I might have a gastroscopy in my future, but at least it isn't something worse.

I could go the run around about how and why I procrastinated about it. In fact I will. I thought it was just stress. One of the stressors went away and it eased, so points to me on self-diagnosis. Now I could get on with all the other things I have (and want) to do. I still have a pile of documents to write! I patted myself on the back and then out of the blue back was that uncomfortable feeling. So much for my diagnostic skills.

Spent yesterday training a new person, which was, as always, a hoot. I love teaching! I also love finding out that I have access to something in our computer system that I thought was limited to special peoples! (I'm not the only one - it seems to be for anyone at my level). (Useful, nevertheless.)

Points to my trainee for finding my excitement on that one amusing. I get excited by weather, so it's not much of a stretch.

Want a pithy (although occasionally a bit negative) T-shirt? Try Despairwear (despair.com). Nice, I say.

A little more invention and I'll make my own, just for the fun of it. My personal favourite from Despair is: "Tradition. Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid."

Since I can't be bothered getting my hair streaked blue, T-shirts will have to do. I will probably talk myself into it one of these days. The next time I have a fat pay-packet, probably.

Don't worry, I'm right behind you.

Using you as a shield.