On Saturday night, we sat down with dinner to awesome tv: The Last Starfighter, Stargate and Dark City. I fell out, as did husbandly and small lad, at Dark City, as it was getting late. I didn’t last two pages into a book.
I thought we had Stargate, at least, on DVD, but it turns out we don’t. (Here’s a shock: our DVD collection is organised alphabetically, it was easy to tell.) But until I checked, there was a frisson of watching a movie on tv that we could watch anytime, but didn’t. As if it was something illicit, a kiss in the dark from an acquaintance. And oddly, as if we were showing it to the Man: we are actually watching, with rapt attention, a show on free-to-air.
Yes, that’s bizarre. Free-to-air is there to be watched, but their behaviour towards their viewers is schizophrenic. They want us to watch, but fail to tell us when something big, something huge, is going to be on. Sherlock springs to mind here - channel 9 didn’t give an air date for months after its release overseas, and never bothered to explain why or why not. When they finally did, it was saturation-bombing advertising, that as a fan, was just infuriating. Did I tune in? Of course I did. And when the next season comes around (please please please please please), I may skip the air dates and simply wait for iTunes.
That disregard for viewers has been building for a while. It seems a rare fish for shows to start at their original air times. Or they’re offset: instead of showing on the hour or the half-hour, it’s three- or seven minutes past. Frustrating if you’re watching a show and a smaller member of the audience has an actual bedtime.
And it’s backfired spectacularly in my case. Castle. I’ve watched Castle since it started, which is a story in and of itself, but with Nathan Fillion on board (and nary a desperate housewife to be seen), never mind the extraneous circumstances.
Fast forward quite a few years (is it season seven this year?) and up until season four, I was as happy as a clam. I used to have it on in the background at work. There are parts of all three seasons I could recite along as I moved bags of blood from one place to another. Then in season 4, channel 7 did something weird with the schedule. They fast-tracked the first half, and left us hanging for the second.
Let me tell you, watching the first half of a season on repeat in anticipation of the second half really kills the buzz. Even one that includes Cuffed, where our heroes end up handcuffed together. With a tiger lurking somewhere. Oh Matron. No second half yet. Okay, I’ll wait. Second half, check, fast tracked fifth season. Eheu.
I try not to make the same mistake with season five, and don’t watch it too many times. But it’s been months, channel 7, and you’re not telling me an air date. Castle is curiously locked down on the internet, or perhaps I don’t look in the right corners, but it’s telling that I looked in the first place. For shows I love, I want to be shown, not told: finding spoilers ruins all the fun. Plus interminable fan arguments about what it all means, dear, are just dull. I also watch Doctor Who, and wowsers, no thanks on the arguments, I’m not one of the writers.
With Castle, it’s a gigantic shame, because I love The Final Frontier (yes, present tense), a wonderful take on all things geeky. All that was missing was Lrrr from Futurama saying wide-eyed “Is Joss Whedon here?”. But so it goes, first half shown, second half, maybe months later. After watching the first half all wide-eyed and ZOMG what happens next? I have to go on with my life without it.
Which I duly do, and second half comes on, I can’t be bothered downloading the shows half the time. Externally to scheduling, I work nights, so tv can be a bit hit-and-miss; I rely on iTunes for downloads. And then my internet fell over and died, so downloading a one-hour show took most of a day. That extra delay distanced me even further, and though I saw the first show of season six, I haven’t bothered anymore.
I may go on with it eventually, but that break has happened, and I don’t think even nifty 3-D printed casts will repair it.
As an aside, channel ten actually pulled out SEASON FINALE for the mid-season break in season two of Elementary. Yes, I really believe that when season one was twenty-three episodes and season two is…thirteen? Puh-lease.
There we are, though, goggle-eyed, watching our fillums last night, and in a quandary. After dinner we all have our showers, wash dishes, et cetera. Sometimes I iron. But we don’t want to now, because awesome movies. Well of course, we fit everything into ad breaks, with one of us calling out when said breaks end. Nice in stereo.
I did have more, and one day I may tell the story of the first episode of Castle, but I want to check my dates first.
Have a lovely, lovely day.
